To implore an aphorism, one cannot cheat death. Man becomes a trivial creation, lost in the vastness of the cosmic prairie, adrift on the deep ocean of time. A single one, among countless others. The earth needs time to prepare, for your illustrious arrival… And departure. We are all diamonds among diamonds. Nevertheless, a diamond still shines brightly.
It appears I am not immune to the strange forces present in a virtual world. It is a terrifying prospect to lose control of ones mind. I have been transformed from a powerful intelligent figure into a pale whisper of a man, who can barely make his own way home.
When one has been angry for a very long time, and gets used to it, and it becomes comfortable, like old leather. And finally… Becomes so familiar one cannot remember feeling any other way…
What if having it all is not enough and giving your all is taken for granted?
Repentance is not a fashionable word. Its basic meaning is to change. It means to stop doing something that’s not productive or taking you in a wrong direction.
When the night was still and quiet. And the sound of the blood rushing through my veins filled my ears, the only way to silence it, was to slip out into the night. AND like the hunter that spawned me, joined in the struggle for life and death, I was alone, unable. And those around me didn’t understand, they shunned me, she cursed me, calling me vile names. I did not know why. Even now, do I know why I am driven? Why I cannot relent or repent or confess or abstain. How could I know, I have never been here before. And not one will lead me to that knowledge.
Those feelings are still a part of me. These veins are still a part of me. I control them. They do not rule me. To fit in, it is demanded, to change the one part of me I cannot change. And because I cannot, I do. That too is the mark of a good man. What enemy must a warrior battle to be appreciated and not taken for granted?
And as the blood, the love, is slowly drained from these veins, it is a painful death. My heart withered in my chest. My breath was taken away, no breath offered in return. Suffocating only because I am loyal, true and committed. I am becoming a shell of what was once a powerful man. Weakened in these arms. Beaten to submission. Pride removed, replaced by fear. Only fools have no fear. A broken man I am. What price, at what cost, is a place in the virtual worlds? Reality eludes the master. And the rope, the one I once held with honor, now binds me. As my feelings are pushed aside, like unsaid words, as sand in the eternal sea. Closer towards the cliffs I am pushed. Her appetite for destruction is never satisfied. Feeding it has removed my bones, only my spine supported this emptiness. With creativity in bondages, manipulate and conquer becomes a formidable weapon. Slicing away, layer by layer I became what it wished for me to be. Silence of tongue and emotionally tangled in the convoluted mind of misunderstanding… I lost strength from the vixen of a virtual reality, once I was ingenious but have been reduced to ingenuous.
Yes, I must be punished, but not executed with dishonor. What burns in your eyes, fights my soul. I hear your words, and I see all as it was. Part of me longs for that time.
Once Upon A Time…
I was a rock
Strong and proud as rock may be
Nothing could be more fulfill than to be that rock
When you are looked upon as the symbol of strength
Always being that strength for all time
How strong it feels to be the rock
Over time I was eroded in a mere pebble
All that could chisel me down came like a storm
Everything that gave me strength was destroyed
Sometimes even the rock needs something to lean on
But the sands of the foundation
That which once was my own rock
Down the hill to where it lay
In a downward spiral
Bashed to pieces
I became just a pebble
A concise pebble was me
With full conscience
Of my former self
I lay now next to the grass
And in time we became closer
Yet again time was not the friend
And the storms came and washed the grass down
Down the hill myself I rolled
As that foundation too was gone
Fate as it be
I found refuge next to the grass
And the sand was kind
It rolled gently beneath
Now I covered and gave the root of my grass
Sanctuary and a place to flourish
And together we gave joy to each other
Here on earth
Looking at the wonderment of sky
This is goodbye. I am going to try and forget you, to live my life without you. To not use you in my words, my writings, my songs. I am truly sorry about this “apostrophe.” Certainly you had your place in my world. Many times you were there, for me, for many others too. You occur when a speaker breaks off from addressing the audience. And directs speech to an absent third party. Often it is a personified abstract quality or inanimate object which some absent or nonexistent person or thing is addressed as if present and capable of understanding. However, you keep me from writing positive words like “Can, Will, Have and Is”, among others. I have come to realize, your best friend… “Not” is an important part of you. Still one should never discard even a part of a best friend, something you do, when you become part of speaking and writing. This may not be goodbye completely. Simple because you were taught to me to be a part of my words. I cannot blame teachers or writers. I can only blame myself. Nevertheless, I have the will to choose. Therefore, I will make every effort to remove you when I read. When I speak and when I think. I have that ability, as do you the reader.
You will never be able to forget me. I introduced you to many things. I showed you things about you, that even you did not know existed. A love so deep, it confounded you. A passionate, more intimate, fulfilling and beautiful love beyond your dreams. I can be discarded. Yet the memories and devotion I shared, will carry on with you forever. Continue reading I Am Your Inspiration
You’ve done it before and you can do it now. See the positive possibilities, redirect the substantial energy of your frustration and turn it into positive, effective, unstoppable determination.
What you do not seek, you cannot discover.
Brokenness distills the intentions of the heart by helping us to be more honest with ourselves. We begin to realize that we are more vulnerable than at first we thought; that our faith is not as strong as we imagined, and that our motives are often mixed and unconscious. Illusions are striped away; idols crumble; deeper levels of selfishness are uncovered; the gap between our words and our deeds.
With a kiss you can open a frog into a prince.