I Saw A Spider

I Saw A Spider

I saw a spider, climbing down the wall.
See her spin a web, it’s so beautiful.
Along comes the fly, and he lands inside.
See him fight for his life, but it’s a shame cause she’s going to dine on him tonight.

Sometimes I feel like that fly.
And the world is a web and the government, is the one who keeps sucking us dry.
And I am white, and thats alright.
But the color of skin is the reason why we all want to fuss and fight.

And I don’t understand why. Why You treat me the way that you do.
You say that you love me but you don’t mean it I can tell by your attitude.
I wish we could just get away.. leave this planet earth behind I’m telling you one day.
It will drag you down, six foot deep.

So I took the holy water, from out of the toilet.
And made a cross for protection on my forehead.
What am I afaid of, why do I hide.
How can I escape this ugly, this ugly that dwells inside.

All because I saw a spider.
She was climbing down the wall.
I seen her spin a web it was so beautiful.
Along comes Mr. Fly.
And he lands inside.
I seen him fight for his life…
I seen him fight for his life…
But its a shame…
Cause she dined on him tonight.

Copyright March 1996 Wade Lancaster

I wrote this as a song originally.

From Broken Mirrors – A Chapter From My Novel “Looking Into The Mirror, As The Story Unfolds”

Today I Was Reborn As My True Self

Ending living a false life, false dreams, broken hopes, and false gifts. Re-thinking what is my everything, my desires, my dreams and my reality.

Xenia
Xenia Water Tower

Impossible was once a whisper, taken from the depths of hope, revealed in the sounds of suffering from a past soon forgotten. What good is it for one to attempt to achieve the things sought by only a single soul wrapped around a broken heart… when success is a word falling at once and always deafened memories? Why would anyone want to ruin something so special with something so trivial is the question I ask?

Toy on Rock
Met The Gang

I was planning on wandering up and down the landscape, bugging people to see if they had mind-blowing dangerous quest for me to undertake. Each day allows me to explore the wonderment of the world around me. Every tri-angle has its thorns. From the convoluted fabric of tangled yarn, my life evolves. Not for glory or fame… I seek peace. For a single year filled with happiness, peaceful days, romantic nights, and shared experience I will give everything, I did, once, give everything.

A Blowout
What has worn to thin

Everyone has some baggage. It is simply a matter of having someone to carry it with you. Yet this thought floats away in the tide of the chaotic sea. Tracing the rainbow through the rain I discovered the pot was never filled with gold at the end. The leprechaun rejoices in magic where the troll laughs in thievery. The dreams of together burnt into less than ash from a single secret letter. Once trust is destroyed, one has the responsibility to right what harm was wrong… or drive the wedge further into my heart.

where is the pot of gold
Rainbow Sky

What is a legacy when the league is less than extraordinary? From a class of pillars we arise into the light. Yet the sun will set and we shall find our self in total darkness if it were not for our own beacon. And hope is but a Meer whisper in this loudness called calm. For once we become silent, because nobody listens, we have muted the chance of expression. From the depth of long-suffering, many moons have risen and hundreds of Suns have set for this goal that became emptiness. What was once a spark that fueled a flame of passionate and wonderful glory, becomes a cinder of helpless lost. Losing oneself in a futile attempt to capture everything, I am more of an option than a meaningful partner. Once and for all time I free myself from hurtful, purposeful and games of the mind. Loving myself is of higher importance than getting love that can never be real.

It is not real
Fake Flame

I stretched my patience far beyond what would be normal. I have been more forgiving than any man alive. I can say and truly believe without reservation not another man on earth could have taken so much abuse and still had as much love in my heart as myself, for one.

human Heart
A Heart That Is Broken

Nevertheless, I simply can not take it any longer. Nothing works. I tried… I mean I put my heart and soul into it. Virtually I am destroyed. And I am surly not the same man I once was. Broken, as if that is right for someone to do this to another human being. Gosh, ripping a mans heart out, throwing it onto the dirt and stomping it… over and over… this must have given someone such power!


Great creation can only follow great destruction. We all progress more quickly when chaos reigns. It is through chaos and conflict that we make our biggest steps. Do not let your eyes see or your ears hear that which you cannot account for.

Ivo de Taillebois

Pebbles and Sand

The Ides Of March Brings Forth The New Year.

 

Together we survive all storms.
Two who Became One

If you move a single pebble from the beach you can change the whole world.

 

My life rocks
Rocks to live by

It is said if you move a single pebble on the beach, you set up a different pattern, and everything in the world is changed.

It can also be said that love can change the future, if it is deep enough, true enough, and selfless enough.

It can prevent a war, prohibit a plague, and keep the whole world… Whole.

 

Life's about balance.
Balance without abuse

Just at the moment when the dew droplet forms on a flower petal.
There is Equilibrium in the air.
A single fraction in time.
When perfection becomes one,
Where again will this moment appear?
Never again, it is plainly clear.
Once a moment is gone…
It is lost forever in the fabric of time. — Wade Lancaster

There can be no Friendship where there is no Freedom. Friendship loves a free Air, and will not be penned up in straight and narrow Enclosures. It will speak freely, and act so too; and take nothing ill where no ill is meant; nay, where it is, ’twill easily forgive, and forget too, upon small Acknowledgments. ~ William Penn

 

Misunderstandings and neglect occasion more mischief in the world than even malice and wickedness. At all events, the two latter are of less frequent occurrence. ~ Goethe in The Sorrows of Young Werther

Real World Components of a friendship
Friendship Earth

Let someone love you just the way you are. As flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel and as accomplished as you think you are. To believe that you must hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect, is to believe that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.

Brokenness  distills the intentions of the heart by helping us to be more honest with ourselves. We begin to realize that we are more vulnerable than at first we thought; that our faith is not as strong as we imagined, and that our motives are often mixed and unconscious. Illusions are striped away; idols crumble; deeper levels of selfishness are uncovered; the gap between our words and our deeds. If someone comes into your life and has a positive impact on you, be thankful that your paths crossed. And even if they can’t stay for some reason, be thankful that they somehow made you happy, even if it was just for a while.

If you truly love someone, you will do whatever it takes for both of you to last forever. You will learn to be more patient, caring, understanding, trustworthy, faithful, forgiving and tolerant. You’ll learn to be less argumentative, doubtful and judgmental. Just trust your heart with your mind. If you want to give a real gift to anyone, give them your time, attention and importance. A loving heart doesn’t expect anything more than that.

I wanted you to know something,
I mean really know it, more than
just allowing the words to escape
through your ears, I want you to
etch them into your bones,
write them on a board and nail
them to the chambers of your heart,
I need you to understand and feel
every single syllable I tell you,
because… This is important:

“Don’t hurt me.”

I don’t think I could
properly describe
to you how life ‘is’—
because how often
moments change from
quiet and chaotic to
loud and peaceful— life
that’s an adventure that’s
not going to end, while we
search for love in every
corner of every human’s heart,
and I can hear the wind whispering
love me love me love me

I fell adrift, floating
through thickness like
humidity sticking to my skin,
I felt trapped in the stomach
of uncertainty, which became
the heart of misunderstanding,
my clothing drenched in hope’s
tears, how clichéd my day turns
into nights and my skeleton creaks
under the pressure of my dreams,
how long have I struggled and
how much farther do I have left to go. — You Know

colors of love - rainbow
Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud

If Only You Could Hear Me

If you could hear me, there are things I could tell you:
like my dreams, I was a branch and you were a bird
and you built your nest and I gave you a home, and
I was the bird and you were the worm and you wiggled
beneath my lips and you nourished my body, and
I became the worm and you were the dirt and
I gave you warmth and guidance and quenched
your thirst and then I was the dirt and you were
a child and you shaped me into pies squished
between your chubby fingers and I rested on
your cheeks until I became the child and you became
my pet and we danced in the rain and chased after
the birds and you snuggled up to me next to a fire
and we slept, and I became the pet and you were
my owner and you fed me and gave me affection
because I was loyal and then I became the owner
and you became my love and we found ourselves
in between clean sheets, damp with sweat and
stripped naked and satisfied and the sun began
to peak through our blinds and you became
the sun and I turned into the moon and we’ll
be immortalized day and night and you’ll fall
in love with me every moment and I didn’t want
to find myself in reality again, but when I woke
I realized you were still there, kept in my heart
and for now, that’s all I need until I want more
and more comes with the future and the future
will be our adventure—if you were listening,
I would tell you all this so you could understand
that I’m waiting: you’re my bird and I’m your branch.

This is about being who I am.

Sometimes the glass is simply half empty,
but most of the time it’s overflowing.

I laugh loudly and infectiously.

My writing starts in my heart,
travels to my mind, and
spills from my fingers and
if I don’t catch it in time, I’ll lose it.
I try to write as universally
as possible, but it’s always so personal.

I’m too loyal to people, wanting to give
them my last breath if it meant
they would love me unconditionally
and without fear.

I get so drained from being who I am,
from trying to be patient and understanding
and offering an ocean and
I only receive a grain of sand in return.

I remember the struggle to find
my footing on this polluted earth,
in my attempt to find knowledge —
I never needed to understand
the situation, but I needed to
find closure, they never
considered to give me that,
there always seemed to be a
deafness that pressed against
my ears filled with fear
it became inevitable like a
time bomb, like skinned knees and
bruised elbows, like broken hearts,
I’ve only found solace at midnight
when the world gets quieter and
softer and I’m closer to falling
into sleeping dreams of my
imagination at its best where
my hope hasn’t suffered and
everything seems attainable yet.
I wake up wondering if I’m meant
for another life—because this process
has been far too hard on my skeleton
and it’s my soul that’s starting to fade.

I Observe, but not absorb. I choose calm. I choose peace. I choose love. I choose life.

Alive within the energy field of every single one of you is a light so abundant, so overwhelmingly alive, that to touch upon it would fill your longing hearts.
Bartholomew Reflections of an Elder Brother

A Post From The Past

December 21, 2014
One of the many GREAT features in WordPress, the ability to post something now, and have it actually become publically visible at a future date. Nice Going @automattic! The previous post was one such future post.
So, I am sitting in bed, perhaps at my wits end, the final straw indeed.

There MUST be more to sharing this life with someone… You could have it all…

The first time you fall in love, it changes you forever and no matter how hard you try, that feeling just never goes away. — The Notebook

I can be changed by what happens to me. But i refuse to be reduced by it. — Maya Angelou

Everyone thinks about changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself. — Leo Tolstoy

ADELE — Rolling In The Deep

Lyrics for Rolling in the Deep By Adele

There’s a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and it’s bringing me out the dark

Finally I can see you crystal clear

Go ‘head and sell me out and I’ll lay your ship bare

See how I leave with every piece of you

Don’t underestimate the things that I will do

There’s a fire starting in my heart

Reaching a fever pitch and its bringing me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all

The scars of your love they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling

We could have had it all (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

You had my heart inside of your hand (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

And you played it to the beat (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Baby I have no story to be told

But I’ve heard one on you and I’m gonna make your head burn

Think of me in the depths of your despair

Making a home down there ’cause mine sure won’t be shared

The scars of your love remind me of us (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

They keep me thinking that we almost had it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

The scars of your love they leave me breathless, I can’t help feeling

We could have had it all (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

You had my heart inside of your hand (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

And you played it to the beat (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could’ve had it all

Rolling in the deep

You had my heart inside your hand

But you played it with a beating

Throw your soul through every open door

Count your blessings to find what you look for

Turned my sorrow into treasured gold

You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow

(You’re gonna wish you never had met me) We could’ve had it all

We could’ve had it all (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

It all, it all, it all, (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

We could have had it all (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

You had my heart inside of your hand (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

And you played it to the beat (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

We could’ve had it all (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

Rolling in the deep (Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

You had my heart inside your hand (You’re gonna wish you never had met me)

But you played it, you played it, you played it, you played it

To the beat

Little Talks

My Head is an Animal – Of Monsters and Men — Little Talks

The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for. — Fyodor Dostoevsky