Today I Was Reborn As My True Self
Ending living a false life, false dreams, broken hopes, and false gifts. Re-thinking what is my everything, my desires, my dreams and my reality.
Impossible was once a whisper, taken from the depths of hope, revealed in the sounds of suffering from a past soon forgotten. What good is it for one to attempt to achieve the things sought by only a single soul wrapped around a broken heart… when success is a word falling at once and always deafened memories? Why would anyone want to ruin something so special with something so trivial is the question I ask?
I was planning on wandering up and down the landscape, bugging people to see if they had mind-blowing dangerous quest for me to undertake. Each day allows me to explore the wonderment of the world around me. Every tri-angle has its thorns. From the convoluted fabric of tangled yarn, my life evolves. Not for glory or fame… I seek peace. For a single year filled with happiness, peaceful days, romantic nights, and shared experience I will give everything, I did, once, give everything.
Everyone has some baggage. It is simply a matter of having someone to carry it with you. Yet this thought floats away in the tide of the chaotic sea. Tracing the rainbow through the rain I discovered the pot was never filled with gold at the end. The leprechaun rejoices in magic where the troll laughs in thievery. The dreams of together burnt into less than ash from a single secret letter. Once trust is destroyed, one has the responsibility to right what harm was wrong… or drive the wedge further into my heart.
What is a legacy when the league is less than extraordinary? From a class of pillars we arise into the light. Yet the sun will set and we shall find our self in total darkness if it were not for our own beacon. And hope is but a Meer whisper in this loudness called calm. For once we become silent, because nobody listens, we have muted the chance of expression. From the depth of long-suffering, many moons have risen and hundreds of Suns have set for this goal that became emptiness. What was once a spark that fueled a flame of passionate and wonderful glory, becomes a cinder of helpless lost. Losing oneself in a futile attempt to capture everything, I am more of an option than a meaningful partner. Once and for all time I free myself from hurtful, purposeful and games of the mind. Loving myself is of higher importance than getting love that can never be real.
I stretched my patience far beyond what would be normal. I have been more forgiving than any man alive. I can say and truly believe without reservation not another man on earth could have taken so much abuse and still had as much love in my heart as myself, for one.
Nevertheless, I simply can not take it any longer. Nothing works. I tried… I mean I put my heart and soul into it. Virtually I am destroyed. And I am surly not the same man I once was. Broken, as if that is right for someone to do this to another human being. Gosh, ripping a mans heart out, throwing it onto the dirt and stomping it… over and over… this must have given someone such power!
Great creation can only follow great destruction. We all progress more quickly when chaos reigns. It is through chaos and conflict that we make our biggest steps. Do not let your eyes see or your ears hear that which you cannot account for.
Ivo de Taillebois